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Menopause.. Why I stopped talking about it




Trigger warning – this blog post contains reference to suicidal thoughts, please read with care.


You may have noticed in recent months that I have gone a bit quiet about the menopause.  Some of you know I undertook a specialist menopause yoga teacher training in 2021 and have since delivered several yoga workshops that focus on supporting women during the menopause.


I also use and have recommended the private menopause clinic referenced in the BBC Panorama documentary ‘The Menopause Industry’.  (The documentary airs this evening 30/09/24 and is available now on the iPlayer.)


As such I have quite a lot to say.


Firstly, about a year ago I realised how monetised the menopause had become.  I couldn’t open Instagram without being bombarded by adverts for supplements, or by posts produced by people claiming to be menopause specialists or coaches.  This aggrieved me a lot; I don’t scroll through Instagram that much anymore.


I didn’t want to be viewed as another person trying to make money from the menopause.  I don’t think I was.  My menopause offerings were always the lowest priced workshops I offered, I also offered them for free to people who couldn’t afford them, no questions asked.


The best part of the sessions was always when women shared their experiences and concerns, just to feel heard not necessarily to get answers; knowing someone else understands what you are going through is huge.


Participation dropped and it made sense that it did.  To start with, all I can share with you is my own experiences of the perimenopause and offer you the space to meet with others who want to do the same, and then offer suggestions about how yoga might help.  Once we had done that, some of the ladies who attended either started or continued to attend my regular weekly yoga classes.  They also continued to support each other away from the sessions, which is huge.


Yoga isn’t a menopause treatment.  Yoga is yoga.  It is versatile, it is beneficial, it is accessible, you can practise to suit your mood or your physical ability.  But it isn’t an instant fix for anything.  It is a vessel that takes you on a journey to understanding your body and your inner world.  It is a lifelong journey.  It is not a cure for all ailments, but there is peace and comfort to be found as you navigate your way through them.


I invite class participants to consider their intention for their practice each week; an intention can be whatever you need from yoga, your focus for your practise can be to cope with menopause symptoms, and for me it helps, it really does. 


“I am peaceful and accepting to change”

“My body feels cool, my mind is calm”

These are just two examples of intentions that may be beneficial for when menopause symptoms feel overwhelming.


But still, I began to feel ‘icky’ that I would be perceived as using yoga to jump on the monetisation of the menopause.


Why do I believe yoga is beneficial to women experiencing peri/post menopause symptom?


  • It lowers stress – stress makes everything worse – including menopause symptoms.

  • It focuses the mind – great! Because brain fog makes me forget how to spell my own name some days.

  • It is good for your bones – we are all ageing, and women are at a bigger risk of osteoporosis as oestrogen levels drop – weight bearing postures will help manage this – other bodyweight exercise is important too, hence why Tara and I teamed up to offer our kettles and yoga combo that we referred to as Kettoga.

  • It aids sleep – disturbed sleep is huge for menopausal women – yoga might help with this.

  • It offers a sense of community – menopause can feel isolating yoga classes bring people together, a fact my yoga community will 100% back me up on. 


This is not an exhaustive list!  Will I offer more menopause sessions, probably.  Will I claim yoga treats the menopause? Never.  Would I like to continue connecting with women who feel overwhelmed by the menopause and introduce them to yoga in the hope it might be beneficial?  I really would.  Do I agree with the monetisation of the menopause? Absolutely not.

 

The next thing I need to talk about is the private clinic that comes under fire (rightly or wrongly, is not for me to say) in the Panorama documentary.  This is the clinic I have visited three times and also had three virtual consultations with.  I would estimate that since 2021 I have spent over £2000 in private appointment, prescription and medication fees.  Do I regret it? No.  Have I done the right thing?  I have absolutely no idea.


Here is the thing, the clinic in question and countless other clinics have been used by so many women because they didn’t know where else to go.  Was the private clinic the first place I went to get help? Of course it wasn’t.


2021 was when I first started HRT privately.  I then managed to get HRT from my GP and was referred to a gynaecologist, who offered me a full hysterectomy at 38 years old and I didn’t feel ready.  The HRT I could get through the NHS wasn’t the same as I the HRT I got privately and it didn’t suit me, I ended up back at square one. 


By October last year, I reached the point where I sent the text message below to my brothers:

(the following may be triggering, please read with care)


“Sometimes people just need to say things so they know they have said it.  It is a message for you to bank, not to respond to.


Sometimes, I get overrun by a sadness or a depression maybe, that I don’t think I’m going to come out of.


I have come through it every time so far, although it is becoming quite a battle.


If it was a battle I ever lost, I’m sure I won’t, but if I didn’t get out of it, I want you both to know, you are right up there on the list of the people I love the most.  Always have been. X


I still get like this.  And the fear of not winning, becoming stuck in a depression I can’t get out of, or worse, is overwhelming at times.


Around the same time as sending this text message I got a job.  Because I had lost all faith in myself and my little wellbeing business (there I said it, it only took a year to admit it) although I tried to convince myself I was doing it for stability and because my own business was too niche for the area we lived in, and I convinced myself people were turning away from ‘wellbeing’ because it was oversaturated and overpowering on social media.  The truth is, I just didn’t believe in myself anymore.


I am digressing. But you can see from that little ramble that I struggle.  I only ever went to a private clinic because I couldn’t access the help I needed.  Have I done the right thing?  Is it safe for me to be on 100mg Oestrogen patches?  I have no idea anymore.  But what I do know is this, without HRT, my life terrifies me. 


For context, between the ages of 12 and 15 (puberty) I was medicated with antidepressants.  I suffered with antenatal depression to the point that Darren categorically said no to anymore children.  And since the age of 36 I have been struggling again.  It is so obviously apparent that I am highly sensitive to hormones. 


So, are these menopause clinics wrong?  I don’t know.  What do I think would help?  I don’t know!  Because even now, when the NHS have agreed to prescribe me HRT, I can only get the brand that suits me privately. 


What I do remind myself everyday though is this, things get better.  Things got better when I was through puberty, things got better when I was no longer pregnant.  So surely things will get better once I am through the menopause.  As my Nan used to say, this too shall pass.  But in the modern world we live in, is that good enough.  I don’t think it is.  Do you?


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