In March, Dene from Streetwise Defence joins us to talk about how we can protect ourselves emotionally. I had the idea to focus on emotional protection after conversations I had been having with my daughter. I had felt the need to explain to her what gaslighting is, in order to help her protect her emotional health.
Gaslighting, if it isn't something you are familiar with, is a form of (sometimes subtle) manipulation where one person makes another person question, doubt and blame themselves for their reality.
Sounds pretty heavy to be talking about with my 13 year old daughter doesn't it? But sadly, emotional abuse is something any of us are susceptible to, at any age.
Unfortunately, the majority of us can probably, with hindsight, recognise emotional abuse we have experienced. Bullying at school, workplace bullying, emotional abuse within relationships. But what a lot of us struggle to do is recognise it at the time it is taking place. Reflecting on the conversations with my daughter made me think back to my own experiences. I realised the common denominator in every situation I can recognise as emotional abuse from my own experiences, was guilt. I always blamed myself.
The incompetent boss who tried to put me on a disciplinary because she said my work wasn't good enough, made me feel guilty and doubt my capabilities. HR dismissed the disciplinary but in the end I left (and later found out I was replaced by three people).
The girl at school who was my friend one day, then blanked me the next, to never speak to me again and would whisper about me with others. I never did find out what that was about, but I assumed it was my fault.
And the worst, the adult who had a responsible role in my childhood (not a family member), who tore my school photo in half and told me and my twin it was our fault our dad had got ill. Long story, but it took three years of psychiatric support during my teens, for me to realise I wasn't in fact to blame...
My genuine hope is that for the people who attend the workshop, should they experience emotional abuse going forward, they will recognise it and not doubt and blame themselves. I really feel this event will be important for our community and I would encourage you to come along, even if you think emotional abuse is not something that you can relate to. None of us know what the future holds or what people will come into our lives, and how those people will treat us.
Attendance is not just about protecting yourself, I am attending so I can support my daughter. And so many of us have been in that truly sad position of being able to recognise that a friend or loved one is being emotionally manipulated, but they can't see it. Because of this, I have asked Dene to include information within his talk about recognising emotional abuse in others, and signposting others who may need help.
After Dene's talk, there is the option to join me for some basic yoga practises to calm the nervous system. Emotional abuse will undoubtedly be a constant trigger for the fight or flight response, so we will look at gentle ways to calm the nervous system.
When I reached out to Dene about this idea for a collaboration and asked what he thought, he was really keen to come and talk to us about this important topic. I know Dene is the right person to come and talk to us, because of his professionalism, his own lived experiences, and because he is genuinely concerned about all aspects of self-defence. Not to mention, he is a really nice guy! The link below comes with a trigger warning, the article contains reference to emotional abuse and suicidal thoughts, but if you feel you can read it, I think you will see why I particularly wanted Dene to host this event with me.
Female Emotional Self Defence takes place at Trusthorpe Village Hall on the 26th of March at 7pm, it is £10 per ticket, however, if you are experiencing financial difficulty and would like to attend, do not hesitate to contact me, Steph, in confidence; I will respond with kindness and zero judgement.
You can email me at so.yoga84@gmail.com
If you would like to book a space, you can click here.
If you would like to learn more about Streetwise Defence, the company run by Dene, you can click here.
Please note, as previously stated in my Facebook post about this event, although this event is for females, aged 13 and over, with no upper age limit, we would also very happily run a session for male participants, please do get in touch on the email address above if you would like to discuss this further.
With love,
Steph xx
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